Extemporaneously Kate

Everything by the seat of my pants!

My parents are getting old and so are my ovaries.

Posted by Kate on 8:09 PM
Today, while I was out and about, I picked up some medications for my mom.  After going through the Walmart gauntlet of hell, I finally was able to get her prescriptions.  There were four of them.  I went back to her house to drop them off and as it was the middle of the day, no one was there except for their two cats and our old aging family dog who  has about five teeth and can't hear for shit.  He's a good dog though.

Anyhow, when I walked into her house, I realized that it didn't smell the same way it did when I was younger and lived there.  I'm super sensitive to smells.  I stood in the kitchen for a moment with her bag of meds in my hand and it occurred to me that she was getting old.  My step-father was getting old.   My father was getting old. My mom's house smelled like a grandma's house.  The pills I was holding was starting to look like a grandma size arsenal of medications.

Then I realized that the house smelled the way it did because my brother and I weren't there anymore.  I felt sad.

But then I felt perplexed.  Does this mean that the clock is ticking for me to make babies?!  I mean, the stage is set.  Those folks are ready for grandchildren.  I'm not getting any younger, that's for sure but I'm wondering when choosing to not have children goes from a smart move to a selfish one.  I am pretty terrified of having children though I do get all warm and fuzzy inside when someone has a baby or a small child.  Of course that feeling turns to stone cold gtfo of my face when said baby/child starts crying/whining/being a brat.

I'm 28.  Both my parents are dancing around 60.  My husband just turned 35 yesterday.  The numbers sometimes overwhelm me when I think of how much time I have, or don't have, when it comes to my womanly duty of raising children.  I seriously don't think its a woman's obligation to pop out spawn but it seems like everyone wants this but me.

Having children would keep my parents young but make me older than I'm ready to be.

Comments (6)

Blogger Ada
January 13, 2011 at 8:48 PM  

I don't have any answers for these questions (honestly who does? lol) but I'm sure your family will support whatever decision you make :)

Anonymous Anonymous
January 13, 2011 at 8:55 PM  

This seems like quite the conundrum; but don't panic! These sort of things are different for everyone, and the time will come when you're ready. And that's when it'll be the right time.

Blogger Horuss
January 13, 2011 at 9:39 PM  

wow cant see what people are writing for comments!

Blogger DDX
January 13, 2011 at 10:18 PM  

I find myself asking the same kinds of questions lately too.

Blogger HSP
January 13, 2011 at 11:06 PM  

I'm sure if you want children, you'll have them when you're ready for them (not that you want them I guess, lol). Giving into the pressures of ~*society*~ probably isn't a good idea anyway.

Anonymous Anonymous
January 13, 2011 at 11:45 PM  

I think the common ages for marriage and children are going up, or at least it seems so, so you shouldn't feel overwhelmed. Take your time c:

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